Looking through old photos yesterday really drove home the point.  It seems like I just blinked, but really it’s been almost a decade since I graduated from college.  Do you know how old this makes me?  Actually if you don’t… Don’t do the math.  It’s depressing.

I don’t usually feel older than the students I advise (especially if I’m watching what I eat – gluten is still a HUGE irritant).  Oh, I can see it around the eyes.  And in my friends’ gray hairs (I don’t have any, but only because I pull them out when I see them).  But I still feel like I’m nineteen or twenty inside.  I watch shows like Glee and listen to songs from my college years and think fondly of being a young adult.  There are times when I walk around campus and can just feel the energy of those students, the overwhelming IMPORTANCE of everything.

Growing up, I always thought it was the way things were.  You grew old enough and went to high school and college accordingly, got a job, got married, and had kids.  By 23, I was sure, I’d be a mom.  That was so old.  Of course I met my now-husband when I was just shy of 24.  I barely had a date before I was 23.  No, really.  I mean, I had a boyfriend from the end of high school into college, but between his moving out of state and my being totally not ready to be physical…  Not that it should be an imperative in any relationship, but he was.  Ready, that is.  Not that we ever talked about it.  Oh no.  He just found someone who was.  Before breaking up with me.  Yup, he sort of forgot that step for a few months.

I can joke about it now (and actually accepted his friend request on Facebook a few months ago and have appreciated reconnecting with him, since we were actually friends before dating), but I remember so well that phone call, two days before my nineteenth birthday.  By the end of it, and for days afterward, I was a blubbering mess.  Sobs wracked my body whenever I’d think of it.  I don’t think I did anything but sing sad songs and think to myself that I’d never find anyone.  I don’t think marriage actually held the same meaning then as it does now.  I think it was more of the Disneyfied ideal of riding off into the sunset together that I was after, but darnit, I was supposed to marry that boy!

Again, perspective is everything.  He joined the Army after college (in fact he was in college on an ROTC scholarship).  Two years after he broke up with me, September 11th happened, and he fought in the Middle East multiple times, and had we still been together, I’d have spent the next decade or so with my heart in my throat.  Oh yeah, and moving from state to state with his various Army deployments.  At eighteen, the concept of moving every few years while your husband is on deployment doesn’t sound so bad.  It might even be romantic to have to write letters back and forth (remember, this was before we were in a war, so there wasn’t much of a real danger).  Now?  I know I’d never have been happy.  My parents drove me crazy as a teenager, but as an adult I can barely go a few weeks without stopping by to see them.  Not to mention that I go nuts when I’m without my husband for a single evening (if he’s working late, or when he went to Las Vegas for his brother’s birthday, for example).  I’m a homebody, and I like being settled.  I want a house I can be in for the next few decades.  Not for a year or two.

The next New Year’s Eve was Y2K, and I remember very vividly going to Mount Soledad with my high school best friend (a boy, and before you ask, no, we never dated) and talking about how this was the decade we’d conquer the world.  We still thought it was a given that once we got to a certain point everything would just fall into place, and we were convinced we’d find our spouses and start having kids before 2010.  I was sure I’d start dating a ton, soon.  I was over my ex, I thought, and after all, wasn’t that what you did in college?

I actually didn’t have a single date in college, though, at least not after my ex broke up with me.  I kept myself busy, but more than that I was always with my college best friend (who also happened to be a guy).  It didn’t occur to me until about 2 months ago (literally; I was walking on campus and the thought struck me) that there was probably a good reason that neither of us got dates in college.  People totally thought we were together.

Not that we didn’t actually get told – multiple times, by just about everyone – that we should date.  Our friends joked that we were an old married couple anyway, so why didn’t we?  I even tried to wrap my mind around it once (after college, when a mutual friend started dating her best friend – who she’s married to now!).  The idea made me physically ill, and I actually called him on the phone to tell him so (sorry M).  He was offended for a minute, but then started thinking about how weird that would be, and agreed.  Incestuous, even.  I’d do anything for him and I love him like the brother I never had, and I think he’s a handsome guy.  But…  Just…  No.

It’s funny, though, because we easily spent as much time together as any couple.  So it’s not surprising that people would assume that’s the way we felt about each other.  We just didn’t.

We both had crushes on other people during college, though, and I remember us both making fools of ourselves on more than one occasion about them.  Actually both of us made fools of ourselves at the same time about the same person on more than one occasion – one would try to be the wingman for the other and end up looking just as foolish.  We thought we were cool, of course.

My major crush in college was a great match for me – similar experiences and interests, incredibly sweet and highly involved in student leadership.  I was so star struck.  More than once I almost asked him out, but I lost my nerve every time.  Which was probably for the best, since he was probably more interested in my (male, remember!) best friend than in me.  Which was totally ok.  Except that I was sooooo clueless that it took me almost two years to figure it out.  Poor guy probably felt like I was totally stalking him.

After college I had one good guy-filled year.  I mean, I wasn’t exactly Miss Popular – and more than once I ended up in my car blubbering about how I’d never find anyone.  But the more I think about it, I had plenty of guys interested in me, including one who saw me from afar and had his friend come and check if I was single.  It’s funny actually, thinking back on how bleak things looked.  Of course I was still clueless.  It was an overarching trait, and one I actually find is pretty normal to have in your late teens and early twenties.  Even when that guy’s friend asked if I was single, it took me at least 10 minutes to understand.

It took me years, actually, to realize that one boy in particular was actually interested in me at the same time I was interested in him.  Oops.  I tried so hard to suss out his feelings, and to get through his naturally-shy outer shell, and I actually did a decent job overall, even getting him to buy me a drink once.  He was actually the subject of a lot of blubbering.  I thought he’d never like me, and I’d never find anyone.  It wasn’t until many, many years later, and based on more information than I had at the time, that I realized he probably felt the same way.  Okay, probably minus the blubbering.  We’d have made a terrible couple.  He’s an amazing guy, but is better with plants and trees…  And I’m way too much of a social butterfly for him!

I got introduced to a friend of a friend that same year, when I was 23, actually, and while he made it pretty obvious that he was interested in me, he wasn’t interested in the same things I was, to put it delicately.  Remember why my first boyfriend broke up with me?  Yeah, this was round two, except he didn’t bother to date me at all.  Also?  Potentially explosive situation with him.  Excellent guy.  Lots of emotional stuff.  And with my own propensity toward being emotional?  It would have been disastrous.

Again, I can laugh about it now – about them all – and look down my Facebook friends list and see every one of them (hi guys!).  But back then?  End.of.the.world.  Seriously, when “friend-of-a-friend” ignored me for a month, I couldn’t help but sing sad songs to myself and think that I was never going to find anyone.

The irony is that when that friend-of-a-friend finally did get back to me to tell me what a nice girl I was and that he couldn’t string me along (which actually was a very mature perspective, despite the fact that it made me mad at the time), I got pissed off enough to go dancing with friends that night instead of staying home like I wanted to.  And I met my husband.

Perspective is everything.

Had that friend-of-a-friend strung me along, I’d have probably stayed home that night.  And never met my husband at all.  Or been so blind that I’d have ignored him.

And then where would I be?

I’m not sure why this is.  I’ve always been this way.  I’ve always been the one who would pull out the band aid from her pocket and fix the boo boo.  Who would pick up the pieces after someone else smashed the toy.  Who would check for a concussion when a friend was knocked to the ground. Who would worry about things.  Things happening to people I love.  Things that they don’t worry about because they’re too involved with their own drama.

I’m feeling a bit put out right now.  I will live to mother another day.  Eventually I’ll even have my own kids to mother.  Right at this moment I’m feeling pretty pissed off at the fact that I’m feeling so worried.  But I’ll probably still never stop worrying about the people I care about, even when they don’t reciprocate.

As I thought, I was getting too focused on the gluten-free stuff for this blog.  I decided to make a new one.  I copied all the posts over there and have deleted them from this blog.  That way no one will get too annoyed with me for talking about this stuff too much!  This will go back to being a random personal blog.  I’ll probably be posting all my new recipes over there, or cross-posting them.

Anyway, here it is! http://eatlivesing.wordpress.com.  Enjoy!

I started writing this post two months ago (the “this morning” referenced was actually in June).  I put it aside because I thought it was just silly.  It is.  But it’s MY silly.  So I’m finishing it.  Because I feel like sharing.  If you’re not in the mood for gratuitous and silly sharing, you can ignore it completely.

This morning on the way to work I heard Katy Perry’s “Firework.”  I love this song.  So much more than I did when I first heard it.  That’s because it happened to be on the radio on the last day of my temp job in February, as I was driving away.  I managed to hold it together through the day, and was about three miles into the drive home when the song started.  I’d heard it before but didn’t really listen to the words until that moment.  I can remember the second – where exactly I was on that drive and when exactly it was in the song – that I started crying.  I bawled all the way home.  I loved that job and held out hope until the last that they’d find a position for me.  It was suddenly all over and I was drifting again in a sea of uncertainty.  But the words to the song – “Maybe the reason why/ all the doors are closed/ is to open one that leads you to the perfect road” – really spoke to me.  Cheesy I know.  But powerful.  And true, for me.  Not three months later, I started my new job.  I’ve been here for a month now and – dare I say it? – it’s better than the other one.  In those three months I was able to grow my company, too, and losing daytime employment made it happen.  It was an opportunity I might not have otherwise made for myself.

This started me thinking about certain songs and their significance in my memories, especially at very significant times of my life.  Whenever I watch Glee and my husband laughs about how people don’t really sing random songs to express their feelings…  I think, “but I do!”  I realize just how much I measure my life by music.  Yes, this is going to be mostly a post for myself, so if you’re looking for a new recipe, you probably want to check out now… .

• “Stop in the Name of Love” – Carissa and Johanna and I made up a whole dance to this song in the 2nd grade.  On the playground.  Yeah, we were cool.
• “Straight Up” – Yes, I was a huge Paula Abdul fan when I was 10…  My best friend at the time, Julia, loved her.  So I did too.  I remember very clearly learning every word of this song, and learning how to do the “kit’n'play” dance move to it in Julia’s bedroom!
• “November Rain” – This also makes me think so much of Julia and being a pre-teen!  Loved this song.  Love this song.
• “Just Kickin’ It” – I have a very clear, very specific memory of “kickin’ it” with Julia at my sister’s 1st Communion party.  Yeah, we were cool.
• “End of the Road” – This song played at the end of every.single.dance from Junior High onward.  But I have a very specific memory of it playing at the Army/Navy Academy formal I went to with several friends in the 7th grade.  It was the first time we’d gotten all decked out, with makeup and heels, to go to a dance.  We felt so grown up!
• “Nothin’ But the Taillights” – For some stupid reason I remember very clearly that this song was playing during our car accident when I was 14.  I still can’t listen to it without getting sort of freaked out because I feel the acceleration of the car and hear the sound of metal on metal.
• “Take a Bow” – The words to this song aren’t important at all.  Only that the first time I heard it I was laying in the bed in the little room at my grandma’s house, recovering.  At the time I wasn’t really supposed to be moving much at all without my brace on, but luckily I had a ton of books and a radio.  I loved the harmonies when I heard them and still remember feeling annoyed to be stuck but at least enjoying the music.  I remember singing harmony to this song the first time I heard it, just because I could hear where it was going to be going.  Nerdy?  Why yes!
• “The World I Know” – Cathy’s 16th birthday.  We got scared witless by her brother and fell asleep in front of MTV.  At 4 in the morning I woke up to this song.
• “I Believe I Can Fly” – High school Winter Formal, Junior year, dancing with the guy who would later become my boyfriend.  I’d known him for something like 5 years at that point, we were good friends (soon to become “best” friends) and sort of had a crush on him.  I’d barely worked up the nerve to ask him to the dance with me and this was about the only song we really slow-danced to.  This song was when he realized he liked me too (even though he wouldn’t say anything for over a year).  For a while after we broke up I simply refused to listen to it.  Trust me, the way things worked out between us was for the best (and we’re finally friends again), and I still am not a huge fan of the song, but when I do hear it I can’t help but feel like I’m 16 again, just for a minute or two.
• “There’s a Light” (from Rocky Horror Picture Show) – Junior year in high school my friends showed me this movie.  I was scandalized.  If you knew me back then…  I was totally sweet and innocent.  I was pretty much horrified but over time grew to love it.  This song, though, was the only one I had stomach for at that age.
• “All I Ask Of You” (from Phantom of the Opera) – Fadi and I sang this for a wedding of one of his high school teachers.  Whenever I hear it I miss my drama geek buddy!
• “1999″ – New Year’s, freshman year of college.  I’d gone up to visit the then-boyfriend at his parents’ house.  Yes, it was 1999!
• “I Could Not Ask for More” – The first time I heard this was the very first day of Orientation during the summer after my freshman year of college.  I was an Orientation Leader (OL) and we had to get up and go at the crack of dawn.  I was in the suite where I’d lived for the whole year, but not in my old room (we were randomly assigned).  A picture of my then-boyfriend (for, um, a few more weeks?) was on the dresser, next to my alarm clock, but the rest of the room was austere, since I would only be there for just under two weeks.  This song came on with my alarm clock at 5 that morning and I laid in bed listening to it.  I guess it’s not all that odd of a chord progression but at the time I just loved how unexpected it was.
• “I Want it That Way” – I know.  It’s a truly truly awful song.  Seriously.  But it was all the rage during my freshman year of college and it was all over Orientation that year.  Every time I hear it I’m in the OLs’ suite, geeking out with Cristina.
• “Always” (by Atlantic Star) – Singing an impromptu duet with Lyndon in my Sophomore apartment, the day of our Gospel Choir performance on TV.  A bunch of us were messing around, singing random songs in my room.  As we were leaving to go to dinner or something, my roommates came out of their rooms and asked who’d been singing the duet because it was awesome!  (Also, since almost every guy on this list was a crush of mine, I feel the need to qualify this – there are no romantic feelings attached to this memory and Lyndon and I are still good friends and singing buddies…  In fact we auditioned for The X Factor together and I’m in his band…  Just wanted to make that clear, though, since this is a love song – it’s just darn good fun to sing with him!)
• “It’s Not Right, But It’s Okay” – I apologize profusely to the friend I had a major crush on in college.  He may or may not have known (but I was probably pretty obvious about it).  If he’s reading this, he certainly knows now!  We were driving in the car during Orientation and sang this as a duet.  This was before I realized I was very much not his type.  Like, 180 degrees away from his type.  Again, profusely apologize.  And blush with embarrassment at how silly I was.  But this does make me think of him fondly!
• “Boyz in the Hood” – the alternative rock version of this song always makes me think of Orientation too.  Lots of memories there, I guess.  It was after the three Coordinators found out some major stuff…  And we were processing it in the car.  I’ve lost touch with Robbie and Susan but at that moment they were my brother and sister, and we were driving in Robbie’s car.  The words to the song were completely irrelevant to us but we were angry and sang them out!
• “Still the One” – Driving in Los Angeles in Erin’s mustang convertible, singing our guts out with Lynn and Neva.  This was the week after we met.  I am still amazed at everything about that week, and how close we were, already.  This was also the night we shared a pitcher of margaritas at the Mexican Restaurant and told the waitress (falsely) that one of us had just broken up with our boyfriend and we needed a private area so we could be loud and obnoxious!
• “Bigger Than My Body” – Whenever I hear this song, I’m in an alley in Los Angeles, standing thisclose to and having a conversation with John Mayer.  No, really.  It’s a pretty cool memory, even though you can only see the top of my head for two seconds in the music video.
• Name retracted to protect the innocent.  Let’s just say I have a very specific memory of a very sweet boy who made fun of a singer I really liked at the time, and I didn’t really realize that there was probably more to his making fun of things until much, much later, and every time I hear the song he made fun of I think of him.  Again, the way things turned out was definitely for the better but I can’t help but remember being 23!
• “Take Me As I Am” (from Jekyll and Hyde) – This also conjures a specific memory of a specific (different) boy, whose name is also retracted to protect the innocent.  Let’s just say that there was a lot of flirting and a date-that-may-not-have-been-a-real-date (the jury is still out and probably always will be), but that this was one of his favorite songs at the time.  Also, the boy from the song-that-will-not-be-named was really protective of me about this boy (and, perhaps, a little jealous?).  I actually think that, more than anything, I remember being 23 and single when I hear this song.  Fondly, but not longingly.  Being single and wondering whether this boy or that boy was actually interested really kind of sucked, but the feeling of being young and having so many possibilities in life was sort of fun.
• “Beautiful Disaster” (the slow live version) – I just realized how many of my musical memories are about boys.  And the last three are from the same year of my life.  Apparently I was boy crazy that year?  This one wasn’t one I heard with the boy.  But it was one I’ll forever associate with him.  Following the amazingly fun weekend I spent with a friend-of-a-friend with whom I was set up.  Great chemistry.  Un-great circumstances.  That song was in my head for weeks before I realized why.  Funny aside – he met my husband just before my husband proposed to me…  And they got along great.  Considering that “the” weekend was only a month before I met my husband, I felt a little awkward about the whole thing, though!
• “Accidentally In Love” – Erin and I were in the car, on our way to Vegas for my American Idol auditions.  Both of us were thinking of relationships that were too early to call.  Both of us are still in those relationships now!
• “The Middle” – I was looking and looking for a job.  This was 2005, so jobs were actually plentiful (shortly after the moment I remember when I hear this song, I was offered three jobs in one week!).  But I was frustrated and feeling lost.  This song got me through a very hard week.
• “Falling” (by Keri Noble) – This song, like “Beautiful Disaster,” would not get out of my head for weeks, until I realized that the words were what was stuck in my head.  The following week I told my husband I loved him for the first time.
• “Defying Gravity” – This takes me back to finally leaping into the decision to leave my last full time job right away after my transition discussion.  That was a remarkably difficult weekend but I made the right decision.
• “Hope It Gives You Hell” – Long story.  Very personal.  But it makes me feel good about where I am, what I’m doing, and how far I’ve come.

This is brunch on a bun.  It’s all the gorgeous flavor of leeks and mushrooms that you can find in my leek and mushroom tart (and most of the same ingredients), in a cute little easy-to-eat package.  It’s savory and feels like you’re eating a meal, but it’s not heavy.  We’ve been shopping a lot at Trader Joe’s and this recipe was scaled up to accomodate two packages of leeks and a package of goat cheese…  As a result it’s going to make more than my original breakfast sandwich recipe does.  But that’s okay…  More leftovers!

It takes a little time to prep (especially since leeks are so difficult to clean), but the results are stellar.

Leek and Mushroom Fritatta Breakfast Sandwiches

• 4 medium leeks, cleaned well and cut into bite-sized pieces
• 4-6 cloves garlic
• 1 tbsp olive oil
• 1 tsp fresh thyme (or 1/2 tsp dry thyme)
• 8 oz mushrooms, cut into bite-sized pieces
• 2 small chicken thighs, poached and shredded (or leftover chicken from another application; about half a pound)
• 2 oz crumbled goat cheese
• 12 eggs
• 2 tbsp half and half, cream, or milk
• salt and pepper, to taste

In a large sautee pan, cook leeks and garlic in olive oil on medium-low until softened.  Add mushrooms and thyme and cook through.  Season.  Drain off excess water (the mushrooms always give off lots) and place in large bowl with shredded chicken.  Allow to cool thoroughly before adding eggs, milk, and goat cheese and scrambling well.  Pour into two pans (I used a 9×13″ and an 8″ square) and bake at 350 degrees for 20-25 minutes or until set.  I found that this takes a little more time than the spinach and mushroom fritatta to cook; just be sure that the center doesn’t jiggle when you take it out of the oven!  Cool and cut into 16 pieces (if you’re using English muffins, as we are this week, and you cut these according to their size, you’ll actually get “edge” pieces too – I think we have a total of 20 servings).  As with the original, simply let the fritatta cool complete and wedge it between halves of a bun or English muffin before freezing your sandwich.  When you’re ready to eat it, microwave it until it’s warm.

Now, you may be wondering why I don’t have any photos of this…  And there’s a very simple reason.  It looks ugly.  Lots of lumpy white bits, between the chicken, the goat cheese, the mushrooms (I used white button mushrooms this time, since that’s what they had at our local Trader Joe’s), and the leeks (which start off green but usually end up greyish when they’re cooked).  I thought the original wasn’t pretty – but I couldn’t even bring myself to take a photo of this incarnation of the breakfast fritatta.  I wish it looked more visually appealing – but regardless of visuals, you will want to try this, because it tastes amazing!!!

Of course I’d only ever smelled seriously overcooked cauliflower, or the raw stuff.  But we happened to get some in our CSA box a couple of months ago and I thought I’d give it a shot.  I figured that roasting it would be mild and tasty.  And I am kicking myself now for waiting so long!

This is a seriously easy recipe, basically foolproof, and ridiculously addictive.  My husband and I couldn’t stop eating it this weekend, straight out of the pan!

Elisa’s Roasted Cauliflower

• 1 large head of cauliflower
• 2-4 cloves garlic, chopped
• 2-3 tsp salt
• 2-3 tsp ground black pepper
• 3-4 tbsp good olive oil

Roasted Cauliflower! Remind me to get a plain white plate for photo taking so that my posts don't look so dark!!!

To tell you the truth it’s been a tough transition – to go from working full-time on my business to working full-time plus my business.  I’m starting to find a balance, though.  One of the most important things for me to get control of was how we were eating – for the first week that I was back I think we did nothing but eat out, because we just didn’t have anything prepped.  Now we’re trying to plan our meals out on the weekend and at least make sure everything is in the fridge.  We’ve actually been more on top of everything this week, including doing dishes after cooking.  Getting ourselves re-trained to manage time has been good for us!

One of the things I started doing the first week of work was preparing protein for breakfast.  I notice that I’m far more awake and alive if I eat something substantial in the morning (I tend to just gravitate towards toast and coffee otherwise).  And we’re trying to get more vegetables and fruit worked into our diets (we’ve actually started to pack “salad wraps” – lunchmeat + veggies in lavash or tortillas – for lunch).

This is my favorite breakfast so far – and it’s so easy to make.

Fritatta Breakfast Sandwiches

• 8-12 oz portobello or crimini mushrooms, cut fine
• One 10 oz bag fresh spinach
• 3-5 cloves fresh garlic, minced
• 1 tbsp olive oil
• 4-5 pieces turkey bacon, cooked, cooled, and cut into 1/4 inch pieces
• 2-3 oz Swiss cheese, shredded
• 8 eggs
• 1 tbsp cream or milk
• 12 toasted English muffins or sandwich thins

In a large pan, heat olive oil over medium heat for 1 minute.  Add garlic and cook until softened (1 minute).  Add mushrooms and cook for about 5 minutes or until soft.  Add spinach and stir until wilted.  Put spinach mixture into a medium bowl.  Add bacon, cheese, eggs, and cream and stir well to combine.  Pour into a well-greased (I used Pam spray) 9×13″ baking pan and bake at 350 degrees for 15-20 minutes or until set.

All I can say is that it might not look pretty but it tastes AWESOME.

The result is less than 1/2″ thick but it’s packed with flavor, protein, and vitamins.  Cool, pat dry, and cut into pieces.  If you’re using sandwich thins you can cut the fritatta into 12 pieces and it will be perfectly sized.  For English muffins you may even be able to cut it into 16.  Place one piece onto each toasted bun/muffin, bag, and freeze.  When you’re ready to eat it, you can bake or microwave it for a yummy breakfast that is lower in fat and calories than any fast food sandwich with more flavor and one serving of veggies!

This is possibly the best breakfast you will ever reheat.

This recipe is great because there is no mess – unlike making homemade McMuffins, where all the ingredients are stacked and tend to squish out when you bite them, you can take a bite of egg, cheese, veggies and meat all at once!

I’ve been without full-time work for over a year now.  This economy just stinks, jobs are scarce in non-computing and non-healthcare fields, and most employers want a specialty (I tend to be a generalist, and can usually do anything you put in front of me, but this fact takes me out of the running for a lot of what’s available).  I LOVED my last job and would go back in a heartbeat, but because of some regulations with how I was hired (nothing I did – and no one did anything wrong at all, I was just classified as a special interim employee, and because the last position was at a government institution, there are a ton or regulations about employee classification…  No one expected the position to still be vacant by the time the regulations kicked in, or I’d have been hired in a different way), I had to leave after a certain amount of months.  If they called me up tomorrow and asked me to go full-time I’d take the position without any hesitation whatsoever.

I’ve been planning events for a really long time (like, more years than I’d care to admit at the moment), and worked for several years as an event planner for a nonprofit.  After the wedding I planned last November, I realized how much I really loved it.  Once the photos came back I started thinking seriously about starting a wedding planning business.  Of course this was something in the back of my mind since I planned our wedding in 2008…  But I was always stalling out with the details.  What should I name the business? What should I specialize in?  What should I charge?  Was I ever going to have a free weekend?  I finally just decided to go for it, whether I came up with a killer name or not.  In a single week I just jumped right in, found a name that I liked well enough, purchased the URL, started a Twitter, and created the basic outline of my business.  I then spent a painstakingly long few months designing my logo, writing out my website code by hand, and putting my thoughts in order.

I’m still learning how these things go, taking each client as an experience to learn from, and finding that some things are harder than I thought.  I’m still learning how to charge for things like my time (8-hour-marathon-design-session anyone?), figuring out what crafts I can handle (I made a giant mess of the first fabric bunting banner I created until I realized I could use my paper cutter to make beautiful straight lines!), and looking for clients.  I’m actually teaching myself things – like how to use Illustrator – and have been really pleased with what I have been able to create (when you visit my site, because I know you will, check out the Design section of the Gallery for an art-deco peacock invitation.  It was my very first custom art piece using Illustrator and I’m ridiculously proud of it).

And of course, I’m still looking far and wide for a “real” job too (I have an interview!Tuesday! that I’m really excited about), since I’m currently not making enough money to buy ramen noodles for the month without one, and the costs of starting a business are seriously understated!!!  But at least this a) keeps me busy, b) is an awesome creative outlet, c) is something else for the resume, and d) is potentially laying the groundwork for my future.  I may decide in a year or two or five that I am so done with weddings and social events and I want to go back to having my weekends free, but I may also decide in a year or two or five that I am ready to go full-time (er, since I’m currently not working any other jobs, I guess that should be “go back to full-time”) in the event planning world.

My husband has been SO patient with me, not complaining when I took over the office with my boxes and boxes of event supplies or when I forgot to make dinner for days in a row, or when I didn’t shower all day because I was working on a deadline, or when we didn’t have any food or water or TP in the house because I hadn’t gone grocery shopping in three weeks…  He is my rock, and the reason I can even do all of this – if I didn’t have his full support I’d never have considered spending money on a new business in a financially-strapped time like this.  I am blessed to have him, and blessed to have the incredible network of family and friends that I do (several of whom are in the industry – and who have been invaluable resources!!!).  I am blessed, too, with some incredible clients.  It’s the best feeling ever when you can meet someone and realize you’d actually want to be friends with them, even if they weren’t paying you to help them create something awesome.

For anyone who is wondering, the reason that a wedding planner (or a graphic designer, for that matter, since a lot of what I’ll be doing and I’ve been doing is graphic design) charges so darn much is because we’re always working.  Like, seriously, all hours of the day and night.  I will probably just have to figure out a way to go without sleep once I get a full-time job because I’m already waking up early and going to bed late, working through meals and time with the hubby, getting up on the weekends to finish projects, and having to physically be dragged away from the computer.  It’s grueling work, and wedding season is just gearing up!  It’s not glamorous, but it is rewarding to see the faces of the people you’ve helped to have the best event possible.  I’m currently making about $.05 an hour (maybe I can raise that up to minimum wage by the time this year is over?) because a lot of what I have to do is marketing, recruiting, creating content, designing and redesigning my website (after less than 6 months, I’m already realizing I want things that aren’t there, and I don’t like things that are…  oops), and working on things like invitations, which are so much fun to do but which are, after costs, not what I’d call money makers.  I’m also spending a ton of time in thrift stores, since I’m offering unique and vintage pieces to clients and performing event personal shopping too), and even the most focused and rewarding thrift store mission (like when I happened upon a 75% off sale on a TON of vases, scoops, cake plates, etc.) involves sifting through junk for an hour.

Anyway, that’s why I haven’t had much time for this blog, or for the activities I so love to share on this blog.  I’m hoping I can achieve balance, but at the moment I’m just trying to achieve.

If you’d like to check out my site, please visit http://www.EventsbyElisa.com.  While you’re there, leave me some blog love, or like me on Facebook, or follow me on Twitter.  I do try to keep up with those forms of social media, at least somewhat.  I can’t guarantee when the next time I post here will be (although I do hope it’s next week when I attempt – and hopefully score big with – some baked goods for my friend’s bridal shower – which I’m technically planning with myself as a client…  that’s fun). If you have any friends you know who are here in Southern California and are planning a wedding (or a shower, or a birthday party, although I do tend to focus on weddings because most people say they can’t afford a planner for a shower), please share my site with them.  I try to keep my rates as reasonable as possible (reason #438 why I am making $.05/hour at the moment?) and offer a lot of services (event design, planning, and/or coordination, graphic design, event shopping, etc.), so I’m a good value too.

Oh – and if you’re curious, the muffins were YUMMY.

Okay I know this is waaaaay too close. I only took one photo and I was zoomed in waaaaay too much. But you get the idea. It was lovely.

Onion soup.

Not just any onion soup.  The most awesome, incredible onion soup ever.   And one of the easiest things you’ll ever make.

There are really only two ingredients you really need.  Onions and your crock pot.

Oh, this soup has a few more.  But you can make really beautiful carmelized onions just by throwing them in your crock pot and cooking them on low until they’re brown and soft and sweet.

Just cut them up.  Thin is best.  If you’ve got a mandoline slicer, this is the time to use it.  Just be sure to use a guard and a cutproof glove, please.  You don’t need to make a trip to Urgent Care.  Take it from my firsthand experience, it’s not a fun way to spend an evening.

Anyway, you want strips or rings.  Sorry, I don’t have any photos of any of this.  But use your imagination. 

Pile them into the crock pot.  As tightly as you can.  In my large oval shaped pot I can fit about 5 onions’ worth.  It only takes an extra few minutes to cut the raw onions, but I highly recommend making as many carmelized onions at once as you can, because they freeze really well.  But I’m getting ahead of myself.

Push the onions down and make room for more.  When you can’t fit any more, add a sprinkling of salt.  I usually use just about a teaspoon for 5 onions.  It’s not really to salt them so much as it is to draw the water out of them, so you can skip this step if you want.  I also usually add a tablespoon of butter.  Not for any really good reason, except that I think that the butter compliments the velvety texture of the cooked onions.

Put the top on the crock pot and turn it on low.

Leave it for at least 6 hours.  Overnight is even better.

This last batch I left on low for about 18 hours.

It would take a lot for the onions – which are mostly water – to dry out.  So don’t be afraid of them burning unless you leave them all day and all night (I have done this once.  Not with onions.  With meat.  When I woke up in the morning it looked like a hockey puck.  Not the best way to start the day!).

When you turn off your crock pot, you should have beautiful deeply brown soft onions swimming in lovely onion broth.

Whatever you do, don’t throw this broth away.  It’s heavenly.

Unless you’re making the whole pot into onion soup, I suggest draining the onions and freezing the broth in individual ice cube trays.  That way you can add a little brothy onion goodness into other soups or rice dishes or just about anything you can think of.  You can use the onions themselves on top of pizza or in sandwiches.  They freeze remarkably well and are awesome to have around.

But you can take it one step further.

If you were, say, to take about 1 1/2 cups of the onion broth, 1/2 cup of the onions, and 1/2 cup of beef stock, and warm those through, and then to toast up some slices of baguette with provolone on the top, (slightly stale bread is even better than fresh in this instance) and put it all together, you’d have two bowls of this.

Sweet, oniony, velvety onion soup.  That tastes like onions instead of broth and salt.  That is satisfying and filling without being heavy.  That is just plain awesome.

Dear Crockpot:  You rock.

Anyway, I usually buy those little containers of yogurt for $.50 or $.75 a pop…  The really truly good ones at Henry’s and Trader Joe’s are up to $1.25 apiece and seriously worth it in flavor, but I always feel weird about spending that kind of cashola.  So I broke down on Saturday and purchased a big ol’ tub of nonfat vanilla Brown Cow yogurt at Henry’s for around $3.  I’ve tried all kinds of brands but this is my favorite by far.

Anyway, this morning I decided I wanted a little more flavor.  I love chocolate yogurt (it’s like dessert!) so I figured why not stir in a little Nutella?  The best part is that just a half a teaspoon helped to flavor the whole cup of yogurt – so even though it’s definitely more sugar than I’d normally have for my daily yogurt intake, it’s not liable to spike my blood sugar too much.  It’s a treat, but it’s an amazing treat.  Do you remember my Nutella cream cheese frosting?

It’s exactly like that.  But, you know, healthy.